Today is a day for chocolate. I’m 99.9% sure there’s another meaning to Easter but for me it’s about roast dinner and copious amounts of white chocolate. It’s the kind of day where you can eat and eat and literally feel your waistline physically growing. My trousers were too big this morning and now they fit just right.
I got up this morning with Small Human and we had a fairly relaxed time which was so needed. We stayed in our Pjs, ate chocolate and watched 10 zillion episodes of paw patrol. What a perfect way to spend a Sunday! We were about to leave for my mums when I couldn’t find my keys. I was ready to go with my shoes on and Small Humans bag pack half hanging off my shoulders. I tore the house apart looking for them and in my head I was saying “where the FUCK are my FUCKING keys” but what came out of my mouth was ‘don’t worry darling we will leave in a minute once mummy has found her keys’ I try very hard not to use profanity infront of children although the word ‘fuck’ did accidentally slip out infront of my 7 year old niece at the dinner table earlier. Thankfully she didn’t hear but I did feel bad! Anyway I searched for 20 minutes before calling Man Child to ask him if he’d seen them. “Are they in the backpack?” he said. OF COURSE THEY BLOODY WERE. The only place I didn’t look was on my person and there they were in the front pocket. If keys had hands I’m sure there would have been a big middle finger pointing up at me when I found them. Off we went around half 1 to pick my younger sister up from my mums. We popped in for a quick cuppa and headed on over to my dads. When we got there he was in bed feeling poorly. He did manage to make it down to see us all and watch us eat our dinner but didn’t have any himself 😞
My Nan embarrassingly whispered to me earlier “are you pregnant?” to which I replied “MY GOD NO”. We all burst out laughing. There is a reason she asked me this. Not just because of my ‘mum tum’ but because yesterday she showed me a video and it made me all emotional. I said ‘god i don’t know what’s wrong with me. Perhaps I’m pregnant’…this was a joke. I am 100% not pregnant and it will be a damn long time before I am again. I love my Small Human to bits but the thought of carrying around another massive lump. A c-section and 6-12 months of sleepless nights isn’t in my immediate future! I have days where I think to myself “honestly people who have more than one baby should probably take a trip down to the loony bin and get themselves checked out.” Don’t get me started on the poo. My god I never want to witness baby poo again! I’ll leave that one down to Man Child… I also can’t cope with people asking about my child’s bowel movements. I mean total strangers will ask you “how’s your baby sleeping?” “any teeth yet?” “how about their poo. Is it normal?” IS IT NORMAL! Is it fuck. If we pooped like that as fully grown adults we would have some serious problems on our hands. Why is it even socially acceptable to talk to another human being about what exits your child? I just don’t understand.
We had some good chats at the dinner table and it was nice to have my family around for the afternoon! Not long after eating we decided to head on home as Small Human was being a rat bag. She kept squealing as loud as she could. It’s the type of noise that sends shivers down your spine and makes you want to rip your head off your shoulders. I think she’s had way too much chocolate today and ended up with a sugar crash. I decided not to go straight home with her and Man Child but instead took my sister to the salon to do her nails.
I’m getting better at this Gel Extensions business. A few more goes and I’ll be ready to unleash them to my clients. I’ve got a couple of kinks to work out but so far so good. We had a right laugh while we were doing these and we put the world to right. I can’t even remember what we were talking about…but it was fun!
Getting late and I’m back home now for another movie night with Man Child.
It’s been a brilliant weekend and I have one more day off tomorrow before it’s back to normality! I do apologise for all the swearing. It is in my nature to curse a lot and if you don’t like then I apologise from the bottom of my fart. I mean heart.