Hi the names KEN. CHIC-KEN… umm what?
So I’m in one of those moods where you’re super tired but super hyperactive. I’m not sure why my body does this but when I’m sleepy I end up with verbal diarrhoea and energy that I can’t get rid of. It’s like having a sugar high without the sugar! Maybe I’m just a freak.
Anywho, this morning consisted of getting ready for a busy day at work and making small human a ‘bed den’.
I love that she has an attachment to a toy but why did she have to pick one with creepy beady eyes. Every time I see Gwenguin I feel as though she is staring deep down into my soul and saying ‘one day, I will take over the world’. It’s not nice seeing this creepy little fucker staring up at you in the middle of the night when you go to check that your small human is breathing. Perhaps one day she’ll loose her attachment to this toy and find another one.
9am came found fast and off to work I went. I was there nice and early but as I opened the door to my kingdom I noticed something horribly HORRIBLY wrong. My sandwich. Was missing. It was hand prepared by man child and I’m sure it had some blood, sweat and tears in it (my kind of sandwich). I was devastated to find my cheese sandwich wasn’t in my bag. ‘Ah well’ I thought ‘I’ll just get something from the shop on my lunch break’. Lunch break? What even is that! I had 15 minutes spare between clients today so I shoved a couple of sweet chilli thins down my gullet in the hopes I would make it to the end of the day without passing out! I performed back to back Manicures and pedicures today and my lower back is suffering! Im sure there’s a way you can do these treatments without crippling yourself but I haven’t quite figured that out yet!
At 4pm work was done and it was time to head on home. Thank god because I needed to get that cheese sandwich in me as fast as possible! As I opened the fridge door a beam of light shone into my eyes and I heard a small noise coming from something in the distance. I could just make out what it was saying ‘I’m here Holly, you’ve waited for me all day and now the time has come for us to be reunited’. I gobbled that cheese sandwich down as fast as I could, filling the empty void inside of me. Then I just got indigestion.
Small human was fast asleep so myself and Man child played a few games of The Binding of Issac. I shan’t explain what this game is about. As I know little people and slightly sensitive people use this site and I wouldn’t want to cause any mayhem or sleepless nights.
Small human arose from her slumber and came downstairs to play. Mostly throwing a balloon around the living room (that she had acquired from a restaurant this afternoon) and demanding we watch a millionth episode of god damn paw patrol! Nothing else will do. Just a quick side note on paw patrol. I totally get the programme. Dogs helping people but WHY is their a dog whose speciality is recycling? I mean come on. I value the importance of teaching our children to look after the planet but this is just unreasonable! He’s definitely the least favourite character in our household and the only one whose name I don’t know. Probably because I don’t care! 😂 maybe my super power would be doing the dishes.
I stuck some dinner in the oven because who has time to be a chef as well as a mother. Not me! Southern fried chicken and sweet potato fries. The kind you get in a bag. Not the home made type. Although I do know how to make them! Small human didn’t eat any of her dinner so she’s gone to bed hungry! Which means I’ll be getting up twice in the night to make her a bottle. Will it ever end? She’s fast asleep now and it’s time for myself and Man child to relax…again.
See you tomorrow